You, my little one, are my light. You bring a light to our family that I never knew was even possible.
When we found out we were pregnant with you, I have to admit I was not excited. I had my own plans for my life that year. Plans that did not include a baby. But just as you and Heavenly Father have always done, my timing was not the plan. Once I finally warmed up to the idea of a baby, we were thrown anotherÂ curve ball when they told us you were a girl. I didn’t want a daughter. I already knew how to be a boy mom. I was good at it. It would have been easy to welcome home another boy.
But I think there are many times in life, and you are definitely one of those, when we think we know what we want until Heavenly Father gives us what we need. You were what I needed. What I thought was the worst timing turned out to be the perfect timing.
My own mom died just three months before you were born. It was an experience, a pain, a hurt that I was not prepared for. But, you healed me. Your light, your love, the place in my heart that was hollow was filled by you. My heart is now overflowing because of you and your brothers.
You are only three years old right now, but you are still so important to our family. Your light is something that I hope never goes away. When I see everyone in our family at their very bests, it always involves you. I hope you can always do that…bring out the best in people.
I am sure as you are reading this it seems so cheesy, but each day all you want to be is a princess. I hope that you never lose that desire to be like a princess. Have courage and be kind. Help others. Be smart. Be brave. Look for the happy ending. Find your prince charming. Whistle while you work. Always have a smile on your face and a song in your heart.
You are my pride. My first born. The one I have loved the longest. You were also my first experience with unconditional love. I loved dad before you, but I chose to love him. Its a choice I make day-in and day-out. But with you the love was instant and something I had never experienced before.
I have joked that whatever my soul is made of that yours and mine are the same. You are the closest thing to myself that I have ever known. So many times I watch you in life and its like watching myself. I think this gives us a closeness that I don’t have with anyone else in my life. I think we understand and relate to each other so much. I hope that never changes.
We both have such strong personalities which can be both good and bad. I wished when I was younger that I would have had someone to help me understand and navigate my strong personality. I hope that I can be that person for you. To help you find your way and bring all those amazing strengths to the world to shine like the bright light they should.
You are hands down one of the kindest people that I know. It always amazes me how kind you are to all those around you. Never lose that about yourself. Always be kind. Reach out to those around you who need you. Show others how to be kind. Include people and love them. You have no idea the influence you have on others and how much good your kindness can do.
Ever since you first became a brother, we have always told you that your number one job in life is to be a good brother. Never forget that or how important it is. There will be times in life when it will be hard or you will have to choose between being a good friend or a good brother. Always choose to be a good brother.
You have no idea how much they need you and how much they are watching you for an example of how to be.
If you always strive to be a good brother, you will not only help yourself become a better person, you will help them become better people. Your brother will learn how to become a good boy and a good man from watching you. Your sister will know what to look for in a boyfriend or a husband because of how you treat her. Your affect on them can not be measured. So please, always do your best to be the best brother you can be.
I am sure you are aware, but being the oldest comes with a lot of responsibility. I know its not easy. I know at times its hard and frustrating. But you are the best one for the job. You were sent to our family first because Heavenly Father knew you would be amazing at being the oldest. I hope you always remember the responsibility that you have, but also that everything inside of you makes you perfect for it.
You are my joy. You were the one we waited and prayed the most for. You have brought a joy to my life I didn’t even know was possible. You are my buddy, my favorite shopping partner, the one I always want to cuddle with, and the one I never want to be away from.
I tell you all the time that I don’t want you to grow up and I beg you all the time to stay little and I truly wished you could. I want you to stay here at home with me forever.
You are the most like dad which is why I think you have such a special place in my heart. You are quiet and thoughtful. You are will to sacrifice what you want to make others happy. You are willing to go along. One of the best things about you is that you are the peacemaker. I hope you know what an important part of our family that makes you. Like dad, you also have a strong temper. I hope you always try and focus on the peacemaker side of yourself and let that light shine brighter.
I am so grateful to be your mother and for all that you have and continue to teach me about joy and happiness.
You are our little adventurer and our risk taker. You aren’t afraid to try new things and help others be brave. Your brother is so cautious, so there are and will continue to be so many times when he will need you to take the first step. That is how is learning from you and why you are so important to each other. You will always need each other as you navigate through life. Never forget how important you are to each other.
I know right now she is just an annoying little sister to you, but always do your best to love her. While your brother is teaching her about kindness and love, you need to teach her about bravery and strength. She needs you to be there for her and there will be many times when she needs you the most. So love her, even when you don’t want to.
Of all my kids, you and I are the ones who share the creative heart. This is one of my favorite and most important parts of you. Your imagination, creativity, and ability to see the world differently makes you so special. There will be so many things as you are growing up that the world will tell you to be. Ignore the world. Follow the things that make your heart soar and create your own happiness.